Three and a Half Oaks
Between the blink of an eye, in a heartbeat, in a breath, in things that stopped mattering, the world stopped - or at least we did.
People froze. I froze. Animals froze. Insects froze, I think.
I had a big fight with one of my best friends about two months ago. She'd started treating me like a servant, basically only talking to me if she needed something, and ignoring me the rest of the time.
So I told her that if she's not interested in actually being my friend, she should find someone else to do stuff for her.
In response, she screamed at me through a river of tears for fifteen minutes, then told me she never wanted to talk to me again. Zero since then.
Two days ago, she moved out of the apartment building, and I'll probably never see or hear from her again. It bummed me the fuck out, that that's how things ended: abruptly and explosively.
But I can't really figure out *why* it bums me out so much, since all I lost were the chores. I'd already lost my friend months prior.
I usually teach 3-400 kids a year with up to 50 in the room at a time. No sweat.
This year I have ~140 TOTAL. In person and online. And I've done MORE work than I have ever done in any two years previous teaching combined.
And by more work I don't mean that it's better, or more productive. Just more. ;.;
I dunno why I bother to look at the news anymore, frankly. Most of it's just, "Man, can you believe this Trump guy? Turns out that, after three and a half years, we can finally say with some degree of confidence, that he's maybe, possibly, not all that great of a president."
Thanks, news. Great work. Ya done just knocked 'er right outta the park.
What's the actual consensus on doing socially distanced activities in small groups? We're doing a small cookout, which feels pretty safe: outside, everyone in masks, food cooked on a hot-ass grill. The small risk seems worth not dealing with the psychological impact of letting every beautiful late-summer day go to waste.
@brokofiev suffering much from the same defect, I can but share my experience;
1 that inspiration/work comes in bursts naturally (alternative view to yours)
2 that my vague attempts of steady slow work were unfruitful - I eventually bored my self out of it and lost focus/vision
Practical advice: find your ritual. Ritualise your creative work (find a time of the day and do it everyday, and I mean everyday)
Take advice with a grain of salt and see how you're feeling
Eventually it will become habit and you'll be excited for that time of the day where you get to be creative
Hope it helps, if it doesn't take comfort as I do in the thought that when you really really have something to say it will come out
You can start small, don't expect a first day wonder, and then fly away
I've long thought that I struggle with a lack of motivation, but I think what I really have is a selective patience problem.
When it comes to something like programming, I'll just hammer away at a problem, largely undeterred, until I figure it out. When it comes to learning a difficult piano piece, I'll just practice, practice, practice, until it feels like second nature.
But writing music, something I ostensibly really would love to do more of? "Eh, this sounds like shit. ABANDONED." What is it about that specific process, for which I can't seem to muster the same degree of perseverance? Do any of you have similar issues? Have you overcome them? What worked for you?
And I can type my long hops in here. Wooooooooo
Made it work! Now I have this button.
Piano-playing, music-composing, donut-baking, code-writing, leftist nerd in his 30s.
I like classical and jazz music, language-learning, running, weightlifting, and video games.
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