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Can't stop looking at these godawful shoes. They're $1100.

I have be my escape by relient k stuck in my head wtf - I remember I had this song on my ipod mini

Instead of "having kids" try "making people" or some such to take the preciousness out of it

When people say a "handout" they should be referring to an inheritance

There are many problems inherent to the idea that "if we hit x number of covid cases, hospitalizations, or x% of the population then y regulations automatically happen" re: reporting but it would link activity and travel restrictions directly to these stats rather than a politician being like "this is too much!" or "there isn't enough of a problem to do anything".

"Well tough turtles" learning so many great phrases on reddit aita

when you’re not used to being confident, confidence feels like arrogance

when you’re used to being passive, assertiveness feels like aggression

when you’re not used to getting your needs met, prioritizing your needs (and setting boundaries) feels selfish

your ‘comfort zone’ has not been a good benchmark

Love when people accidentally write defiantly instead of definitely

"We're booting up the ol' 3D printer" is a funny way to say "we're trying to have another kid"

I love the sending delay my work email system has. It both hides that I'm here late and makes me look really diligent in the AM. Love it.

It would be cool if car washes had a light check service

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together” – African proverb

boyfriend going through some health stuff that's fucking with his sleep, his foreman is like wtf are these excuses as if it's not a safety issue regardless, and boyfriend is called by the boss saying he's been on his phone too much per the foreman and boyfriend asks what's the story with the health insurance, and the boss says it's still in the works and it's very expensive, apparently looks a little chagrinned after boyfriend mentions the root of his sleep deprivation and affording treatment for it and then today the boss asks boyfriend's brother if he would quit if they fired my boyfriend. "officially" it's about being on his phone but obviously it's the mention of health insurance

Using a thesaurus to polish my resume: My 6 years of experience as a vocational rehabilitation counselor, supervisor, and board member have prepared me well for the responsibilities of this position.

Wielding a synonym volume to gild my livelihood ledger: My gobs of years of participation and action as an occupation repair sage, chief, and kingpin have psyched me up to dominate the obligations of this rat race.

I have this one particular client that I feel guilty about leaving. I think we've gotten him to a good point where his next steps are clear and can't be f'd with, but I still wish I'd get to see him through his claim.

Bad lip reading for the Joe Rogan Experience

going through my bank statement confused by "ECS investments"...it was for an emerald city smoothie giftcard. super weird.

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